Adoption Journey #11

We got a phone call a few weeks ago from our adoption agency. They wanted to check in on us, make sure we were still on board, and then they dropped a little bomb. They informed us that we are still 2 to 3 years away from being placed with a child. (Even typing that little sentence sends me into a tizzy.) This was such a blow. 2 to 3 years??? STILL??? They then tried to promote Columbia. They told us we could get that little baby and it would be much much faster. I immediately wanted to scream, "HECK YES" and jump ship! Columbia sounded just fine to me. I'm tired of waiting! We can get that little baby really really soon!

But after really thinking about this, talking to J, and praying....we have decided to stick with our first choice. Honduras has a special place in our hearts. It's been the country we have "felt" from the very beginning. J has been there. He has been to the orphanages, he has seen the conditions. Honduras has been in our hearts for awhile now and we feel that our child is there.

If anything, this journey has continued to teach me patience and how to fully rely on God. I know I say that all the time but it's just so very true. It scares me to death to take matters into my own hands. If we did change countries and go with Columbia and not do what we feel the Lord is telling us to do, it could be disastrous. We could end up with the wrong child for our family. There are so many things that could end badly and that scares me more than anything. I have also learned that God's way is usually the hardest, longest, most challenging way. I'm not sure why. But His way is always the best. He is continuing to force me to rely on Him and nothing else. I wish this were easy and pretty but it's not. Part of Sunday's sermon is still ringing in my ears: "if all things were easy we would not need God."

So, we are going to be patient. We will not stop with Honduras and fighting for our child who may not even be alive at this point. But I love that kid so much. I don't know a thing about him or her but I do know that God has a special plan for this child. I can't see what the future holds--it might be a cake walk from here on out or we could be heading towards twists and turns and frustrations. All I can do is walk daily in His presence and let Him handle all this craziness.

This is His story. I am simply a character. He is the author and I'm going where He writes.